The “I’m So Busy” Competition
We’re all busy and sometimes it feels a bit like a competition! I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve said to my partner or friend “I’m sooo exhausted”. Only to be met with the response “Try being me” or “Well at least you don’t have to X Y Z…”
Don’t get me wrong, my partner and friends are awesome! It just feels like Suddenley everyone is competing to see who is the busiest or the most tired or has the most work on their plate.
When did it become “trendy” to be so busy we’re all burning out?!
What’s the Real Problem?
Well, I say NO MORE! I’m guilty of those kinds of replies too and I’ve decided enough is enough!
I’m a pregnant mum to a toddler, working full time and trying to run a couple of businesses. My partner works full time and has 3 businesses to run as well. Recently though, I realised that I’m not actually missing out on experiences or developments in my toddlers life.
The problem is I’m not SAVOURING them!!!
I’m there in person for all these things that my daughter, partner or friends achieve. When I look back though, I may as well be a million miles away! I’m thinking about work or the business or how clean the house is or what I can cook for dinner.
This was a profound and difficult realisation for me! I felt like I was letting down so many people
Savouring the Small Things
So, I made a pact with myself to break the habit of not being present!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD! I have to make a serious effort to stop myself thinking about work or to remember that I can deal with cleaning the house later.
It takes a long time to break a negative habit and this is exactly the same.
Now when my daughter tugs on my dress or shouts mama I resist the urge to say “Just a sec”. Instead I crouch straight down and ask what’s up. If she shows me something seemingly insignifican, like the flower she handed me this morning, I make an effort to wonder over it too.
She takes such great joy from involving me and seeing her that way just fills me with awe. What could possibly be better?!
So how can you cultivate small, mindful moments?
- Slow down! Yes I know it’s obvious but sometimes we just don’t realise when we’re speeding up and getting overwhelmed. Try to take note of your triggers and watch out for them. Take a deep breath and try to start again.
- Set yourself a daily kindness goal. I’m not saying you’re a bad person but set yourself a specific daily goal like “pay one person a compliment” Not only will you lift someones spirits but it will force you to take a step back and really appreciate people around you.
- Celebrate the small wins. Got that report finished a day earlier than expected? Have a 30 second party in your head. Found a quick way to save a few dollars on something? Take a minute to appreciate it. All the tiny wins we have, and usually ignore, deserve some recognition too
- Stick some positive post its around the house. When you see them, let them be a trigger to think of one thing you’re grateful for today.
- Bite your tongue! If someone complains they’re tired/busy etc fight that human urge to reply with a similar negative comment. It will get you into the wrong frame of mind. Instead listen or offer a positive for the person to think of. This way you stay in a positive mindset AND you help lift another person!
- Use mini waiting times wisely. Standing waiting for the kettle to boil? Or for the photocopier to finish? I bet whilst you’re waiting you have the next 7 or 8 tasks running through your brain! Instead try taking a deep breath and listening to everything around you. These small periods of time really add up and can cultivate a lot of calm.